Wednesday, November 4, 2009

remembering my first

it's crazy to think that my sweet sienna was prematurely born.  it seems like so long ago.  no, isn't her birthday, and i'm not doing her tribute just yet.  but i was remembering back to when i went into pre-term labor with her at 31 weeks.  i remember not having a clue about what was going on and how serious it could have been.  i remember her being born and screaming and crying and me being so relieved.  she was born at 33 weeks, just when she wanted to be.  a whopping 4 lbs 1 oz...which was pretty big considering how early she was born.  she breathed on her own, never needed a respirator.  she was just a small little thing with jaundice and a little growing to do.

i remember visiting her every day in the nicu.  i fed her, talked to her, sang to her, prayed for her and cried a bit too.  the first few days weren't that bad going home without her, surprisingly.  i guess i needed the sleep.  but after a while, making that 20 minute drive home each day got to be so hard.  i would just cry, wishing i could rock her to sleep at home and just watch her sleep all night.  eventually she came home...2 weeks and 6 days later, that is.  it was the night of my huge baby shower.  i knew what a long night i had ahead of me, so i was excited and exhausted.

i remember walking into the nicu each day seeing her laying on her tummy cuddled up, sometimes with her stylish light-therapy "shades" on.  sometimes she was all swaddled up.  i added the picture below because it slightly shows how tiny she was compared to my hand (please excuse my mal-shaped fingers...yes, i know they curve abnormally to the left.  stephen never lets me forget).

sometimes i think i'm a little too hard on her.  i'm trying to be better.  she will always be precious to me and a miracle in many ways.  i love my bub!


Nina said...

aww! that made me tear up. sweet sassy sienna! i always feel like i'm harder on max because he's the most like me -- stubborn in every way!!

*katie said...

I love the Nenna girl! I'm so glad she's healthy and strong!

Hazen5 said...

Ahhh, she was a tiny one! But, she has grown up to be such a beautiful, big girl.

Lenna said...

What tender memories. No one who plays the piano as well as you do has straight fingers. Better that than my crooked finger issue...I'd put up a picture but then you'd think I was flipping you off. Brandon teases it's from overuse.