it's crazy to think that my sweet sienna was prematurely born. it seems like so long ago. no, no...it isn't her birthday, and i'm not doing her tribute just yet. but i was remembering back to when i went into pre-term labor with her at 31 weeks. i remember not having a clue about what was going on and how serious it could have been. i remember her being born and screaming and crying and me being so relieved. she was born at 33 weeks, just when she wanted to be. a whopping 4 lbs 1 oz...which was pretty big considering how early she was born. she breathed on her own, never needed a respirator. she was just a small little thing with jaundice and a little growing to do.
i remember visiting her every day in the nicu. i fed her, talked to her, sang to her, prayed for her and cried a bit too. the first few days weren't that bad going home without her, surprisingly. i guess i needed the sleep. but after a while, making that 20 minute drive home each day got to be so hard. i would just cry, wishing i could rock her to sleep at home and just watch her sleep all night. eventually she came home...2 weeks and 6 days later, that is. it was the night of my huge baby shower. i knew what a long night i had ahead of me, so i was excited and exhausted.
i remember walking into the nicu each day seeing her laying on her tummy cuddled up, sometimes with her stylish light-therapy "shades" on. sometimes she was all swaddled up. i added the picture below because it slightly shows how tiny she was compared to my hand (please excuse my mal-shaped fingers...yes, i know they curve abnormally to the left. stephen never lets me forget).
sometimes i think i'm a little too hard on her. i'm trying to be better. she will always be precious to me and a miracle in many ways. i love my bub!