Wednesday, May 26, 2010

don't worry 'bout a thing

this is coming to be my new motto. 

sometimes i'm a little high-strung.  especially when it comes to special events like birthdays, anniversary's or holidays.  i want them to be perfect.  my expectations tend to be a little high, so if the event doesn't live up to my expectations, i become irritated.  this, much to the detriment of my husband, has just become worse over the years.  the problem is, i don't want to lower my expectations, because i feel like i wouldn't be true to who i am, in a way.  i do expect a lot from people too.  the problem, once again, is that when a person does something that detracts from what i thought they would do or say, i am left bummed out. 

i know i have to re-arrange this somehow.  but how? 

lately i wonder if part of it isn't myself being judgmental.  am i judging a person to be one type of person, when in reality that person is filled with all kinds of personalities, likes and dislikes?  aren't i like that?  i know i am.  i have so many likes...things i like to do.  i don't want to be labeled as only a musical person, just because i happen to play the piano.  yes, i'm musical.  but i also love to clog (not a toilet, the fun dancing kind!), to take photos, to make wondrous little things with my sewing machine, go running...i love to make yummy food, to travel and see new places, to teach myself how to do new things (guitar, knitting).  the list just goes on and on.  then there's the things i haven't done that i really have always wanted to do, like take ballet (sigh), become a nurse, take up skateboarding, backpack across continents, hike up a big mountain, teach myself to speak french and portuguese.   a few things i'm certainly not interested in might be scrapbooking, basketball or becoming a company executive.  no thank you. 

wow, i got sidetracked, didn't i?  eek.  it's okay, smile and read on. 

as my title indicates, i want to not sweat the small stuff.  i want to relax more, become a more patient person.  i don't want to get uptight if my house is messy beyond reason...occasionally.  i don't want to be mad if my birthday is forgotten or if all my big plans for our anniversary fall through.  i want to be happy to be alive!  i want to be grateful that my children are healthy, that i am healthy.  i want to just take things as they come.  this doesn't mean to just sit back and let your life take  i still want to be a go-getter (in my own way) and do the things that i feel strongly about.  but i want to do it with the idea in mind that it's not the end of the world if they don't go how i plan them to.  i think that that is the key for me.  remember that i can't control it all. 

just let go brooke.  let go!

don't worry 'bout a thing.  that bob marley knows what he's talkin' about.


Amy said...

I am exactly the same way. I want everything to go how I planned, imagined, hopped, it would go and if it doesn't I have a hard time going with the flow. I am getting better at it but still something I have to remind myself to step back and just enjoy instead of being disappointed.

Kierst said...

I think we're all like that to a point. Sometimes I SAY I don't care, when I really do. But don't we all? So Brooke, don't worry 'bout a thing!

Robin Baker said...

very candid. these are the posts I love. thanks for sharing.
p.s. some things I have learned to let go and others drive me crazy. when you learn the secret, you must share ;)

Lissy said...

Hello! - me too! I wrote about this same kind of thing recently. Nothing ever lives up to our expectations. Sometimes it's worse, sometimes better, but we've got to have some sort of expectation, right? How could you exist as a thinking human being without expectations??? It seems like a contradiction of life that can never be solved. It's pretty frustrating that we can't just always roll with the punches and face life with a mellow happy attitude. Yet looking around there are definitely people who do it better than others. I kind of decided to seek out exercises in relaxation - little goals that will help me make it a habit to be more positive and happy with my life. Not that I'm down on it all the time, but you know what I mean. Anyway, thanks for sharing - it's nice to know other people have these kind of feelings too. We'll have to let each other know what we come up with. :)