this is coming to be my new motto.
sometimes i'm a little high-strung. especially when it comes to special events like birthdays, anniversary's or holidays. i want them to be perfect. my expectations tend to be a little high, so if the event doesn't live up to my expectations, i become irritated. this, much to the detriment of my husband, has just become worse over the years. the problem is, i don't want to lower my expectations, because i feel like i wouldn't be true to who i am, in a way. i do expect a lot from people too. the problem, once again, is that when a person does something that detracts from what i thought they would do or say, i am left bummed out.
i know i have to re-arrange this somehow. but how?
lately i wonder if part of it isn't myself being judgmental. am i judging a person to be one type of person, when in reality that person is filled with all kinds of personalities, likes and dislikes? aren't i like that? i know i am. i have so many likes...things i like to do. i don't want to be labeled as only a musical person, just because i happen to play the piano. yes, i'm musical. but i also love to clog (not a toilet, the fun dancing kind!), to take photos, to make wondrous little things with my sewing machine, go running...i love to make yummy food, to travel and see new places, to teach myself how to do new things (guitar, knitting). the list just goes on and on. then there's the things i haven't done that i really have always wanted to do, like take ballet (sigh), become a nurse, take up skateboarding, backpack across continents, hike up a big mountain, teach myself to speak french and portuguese. a few things i'm certainly not interested in might be scrapbooking, basketball or becoming a company executive. no thank you.
wow, i got sidetracked, didn't i? eek. it's okay, smile and read on.
as my title indicates, i want to not sweat the small stuff. i want to relax more, become a more patient person. i don't want to get uptight if my house is messy beyond reason...occasionally. i don't want to be mad if my birthday is forgotten or if all my big plans for our anniversary fall through. i want to be happy to be alive! i want to be grateful that my children are healthy, that i am healthy. i want to just take things as they come. this doesn't mean to just sit back and let your life take place...no. i still want to be a go-getter (in my own way) and do the things that i feel strongly about. but i want to do it with the idea in mind that it's not the end of the world if they don't go how i plan them to. i think that that is the key for me. remember that i can't control it all.
just let go brooke. let go!
don't worry 'bout a thing. that bob marley knows what he's talkin' about.